


No Reason (Uncertainties and Confessions)

by CynicalRheums



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, after alligator promotions, implied changhyuk, just hyungwon being whipped for kihyun, mx day off, soft babies, they stayed at the dorm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 10:45:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18207341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalRheums/pseuds/CynicalRheums
Summary: Chae Hyungwon may have had his rather impressive share of uncertainties but he can assure you, Yoo Kihyun was the only thing he was sure of.





	No Reason (Uncertainties and Confessions)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dawnbreak55](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnbreak55/gifts).



> Hi! This work is dedicated for the very thoughtful Dawnbreak55. Thank you very much for your comments, you have no idea how your thoughts manage to make my day! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic!
> 
> Ps. Take care of yourself, sweetie. Always eat on time, stay hydrated, and have enough hours of sleep!

Exhaustion sat heavy in Kihyun's bones as he slumped against the door of the laundry room with a basket of clean clothes tight against his chest. The entertainment gave them a day free of schedules and the group decided to spend their leisure time in the dorm and rest. Except the main vocalist was far from resting and was bent on making the dorm spotless instead. 

Honestly, Kihyun would be lying if he didn’t admit to how much he actually, legitimately liked cleaning. There was just something oddly therapeutic about scraping the tiles till it's free of dirt, mopping the floor till it squeaked under his feet, and rearranging every cupboard till every excess baggage was dutifully removed. 

The brunette moved from his position by the door and placed the basket on the recently scraped counter. He would tell the members to grab their own baskets later. Seven different colored baskets lay on the counter and he took the red one. Kihyun left the laundry room with a satisfied smile and padded towards his room, oblivious of the pair of doe brown eyes that followed his retreating figure. 

 

The dorm's living room currently holds the capacity of gaiety, mirth, and uncertainty. If there was something Hyungwon knew he belongs to, it was the concept of confusion. Yes, he is the 'uncertainty' among the room of 'gaiety'. He was always the odd one out. So it wasn't considered a wonder anymore whenever a new meme of the visual would surface on the net. The pictures or clips of him would either be him staring into space or him opening his mouth to say something before deciding to go against it in the last minute. It's either of the two or something in between. 

Unbeknownst to the fans, it was during those 'meme times' of his, whenever he would just randomly stare in nothingness was the time he often doubts himself.

What if he's never good enough? What if he's just known as the group's resident pretty face and nothing more? What if no matter how hard he tried, he'll just end up being back to where he used to be? What did he do in his previous life to deserve everything he has?

Hyungwon is an introvert, a fact everyone most likely knew. He likes people but he prefers solitude more. He likes to keep his thoughts to himself. He likes silence. He likes winter. He likes oversized turtlenecks. He likes fuzzy socks. He likes soft blankets. He likes warm hugs. He likes sleep. He likes seafood. He likes cheesecakes. He likes Yoo Kihyun. 

Kihyun was everything he is not. An extrovert, loud (but not Minhyuk kind of loud), confident, naive, and passionate. How he ended up falling for the group's shortest member has always been an unanswered question of his. 

The brunette is beautiful, Hyungwon would admit. There's something about Kihyun that would always strike him as pretty, oddly edged between masculine and feminine but leans further to masculinity. His features were sharp and soft at the same time. His side profile, don't even get him started with the older's inhumanly perfect features. Kihyun has the best side profile he had ever seen and Hyungwon is a visual, himself. He has warm, intense feline eyes that accentuated his fox-like features. High prominent cheekbones, perfect slope of nose, and sharp jawline. Kihyun could kill him with that jaw and Hyungwon would even thank the latter for the grace he received. Whenever he smiles and the dimple on top of his cheeks would appear together with his crescent eyes, Hyungwon's insides would melt. Oddly enough, Kihyun's features are morphed between an intense, sly fox and a warm, cute hamster. 

Hyungwon knew he was whipped for the older boy. There was no means of escape and even if there is, he wouldn't dare.

Maybe it's because the older was the only one who had the patience to wake him up even if it takes half an hour to do so. Maybe it's because the latter would cook him seafood even though the shorter prefers chicken instead. Maybe it's because of the reassuring smiles the older throws at him before they start performing. Maybe it's because of the times the shorter would sing him to sleep every time he cries. 

Hyungwon doesn't really know. He wasn't certain enough. That's why he always ended up settling for maybes or anything on between. 

"Hyungwon."

"Hyungwon-hyung!"

The black-haired visual snapped out of his Kihyun-induced haze and stared at his fellow members looking at him with worry painted on their features. 

"You alright?"

Hyungwon nodded. He isn't a good liar after all, that's what they all said. Kihyun has always been the best liar after Minhyuk. 

"I'll just go to my room." 

"Go ahead."

He tapped Changkyun's head on his shoulder to which the maknae let out a contented sigh before shifting in his seat to give the blonde to Minhyuk. The lead rapper meakly hugged the vocalist in response, snuggling closer against Minhyuk's chest. His fellow black-haired vocalist shot him a wink and Hyungwon took it as the cue to stand from his slouching position and leave the premises of the room. A few feet away, he savored on Hoseok's high-pitched laughter, Hyunwoo's low giggles, and Jooheon's incessant screaming. 

Hyungwon wasn't really lying when he said that he'd go to the room he shares with Jooheon and Hyunwoo but he wasn't really saying the truth either. He did go to a room, but the room he went to wasn't his. It was Kihyun's. 

There maybe a lot of things he was hesitant with, but going to the main vocalist's room was not one of those. He knew it was safe, like his own haven except it wasn't his. The sound of water hitting the tiles reached the lead dancer's ears, Kihyun must be taking a shower, he thought to himself. He closed the door softly before proceeding to sit at the edge of the brunette's bed with padded steps. 

Hyungwon darted his eyes across the room. The beige binder was left slightly open, allowing reddish-orange rays to sift through the neutral room. Picture frames hang from the white-colored walls, every furniture was in different shades of beige, cream-colored carpets, and white stack of pillows and comforters. The room was cozy and it reminded him of home. It reminded him of Kihyun. 

In moments like this, Hyungwon enjoys returning to look back at the Kihyun he knew four years ago, like flipping back to page 16 when he’s currently on page 93. It started from the egocentric guy in No Mercy. He thought Kihyun was self-centered back then, Hyungwon realized it was his jealous side speaking. It was when Kihyun performed Hyeya, he realized that maybe, he was attracted to the older's voice, after all. But then again, who isn't? 

Months after they debuted, Kihyun proved him wrong once again. The main vocalist was the most selfless person he has met. Hyungwon knew he was always bad at first impressions. It was always the exact opposite of what he thought. Then again, no one knew. He had kept his thoughts to himself. Maybe that was the problem all along. 

In Trespass era, Hyungwon thought Kihyun looked good in his gray suit. During Rush era, the blonde rembers calling Kihyun cute with his burgundy hair and oversized orange shirts, the latter thought he was kidding. He isn't. During All In promotions, he remembered his heart beating faster whenever Kihyun shot him a glance. In Fighter era, he remembered being annoyed when the KiHo ship sailed, he pretended he didn't know why. In Beautiful promotions, he knew Kihyun was more than just beautiful. During Shine Forever era, he remembered telling Kihyun that he shines the most, the members laughed at him. Hyungwon wasn't joking. In Dramarama, he realized that he was whipped for the gray-haired male. In Jealousy era, he remembers wanting to keep Kihyun to himself. It was during Shoot Out promotions when Hyungwon finally admitted he is in love. After the Alligator era, Hyungwon decided to tell Kihyun he loves him. 

 

Kihyun left the bathroom wearing an oversized white shirt as he dries his brown hair with a towel. Humming a soft tune as he walked closer to his bed, he was surprised when his eyes met doe brown ones. There, sitting on the edge of his bed was Chae Hyungwon in an oversized blue turtleneck sweater and fuzzy purple socks. Kihyun internally cooed at the heartwarming sight. 

"Hyung?"

The brunette hummed. 

"Can I sleep beside you?"

Kihyun blinked. Hyungwon was still staring at him while swinging his legs back and forth. The motion reminded him of a kid on a swing. Kihyun smiled before laying on the bed. He pushed the comforter aside before patting the area next to him. Hyungwon complied and pulled he comforters till it smoldered both of their bodies. 

For a minute or two, the room was thick of comfortable silence before Kihyun started humming to No Reason. With his back against the tall dancer, Kihyun squirmed underneath the blanket to face the younger male. The brunette took his time to appreciate the scene in front of him. Big, brown eyes peeking from long, thick eyelashes. Smooth, soft cheeks and red, pouty lips stretched into a smile. He smiled back. 

Hyungwon reached his arms behind the smaller male, further enveloping him into a warm embrace. The brunette settled closer against his chest and Hyungwon can feel the other's heartbeat. He pressed his lips against Kihyun's forehead, hiding the smile he wore. 

"Hyungwon?"

"Hm?"

The lead vocalist hummed against a mop of tousled brown hair, still pressing chaste kisses atop Kihyun's head. Heat traveled it's way across his chest. The incessant feeling lingered and this time, he didn't fight it back. 

"I love you."

"I love you too, hyung."

A matter of seconds was all it took before everything became a synchronized flurry. Hearts flushed against one another, paces not a nanosecond behind. It was a sight to behold, unrelieved cacophonies beating at the same time and it lingers. 

 

At that very moment, Hyungwon knew he needs no reasons. He was in love with the guy in his arms and he was dead certain of it. 

Chae Hyungwon may have had his rather impressive share of uncertainties but he can assure you, Yoo Kihyun was the only thing he was sure of.

**Author's Note:**

> It took Hyungwon a day to realize that Kihyun was the one who said "I love you" first.


End file.
